Tag Archives: control

Blue

Today I am *really* tired. I am also a little stressed and sad. Things happen sometimes in life and sometimes I struggle to roll with it. Nothing serious. But I want to say that despite my lack of sleep, I went out walking this morning. I didn’t do any running today but I got out into the outside world and walked. It is a beautiful day here. I walked for 70 minutes and I mapped my route to learn I went 6.7km. I am happy with that. I feel better for it. And when my little boy goes down for his after lunch nap, I am going to go back to bed as well.

I am proud of myself, that today, despite my tiredness and blues, I exercised and (so far) I have eaten well. This is a huge advance for me. I know that in my old life, I would have eaten and drunk the feelings into oblivion. Instead I have done some contingency planning for a couple of things that are coming up. I like to have fallback plans. It makes me feel like I have options, like I have some control.

party prep – mental and actual

I am tired! I have most things ready for the party tomorrow, including carrot sticks, capsicum sticks, cherry tomatos and strawberries all ready to go. The cake I made is one I have had before and because I know what it is like I think I will be able to resist it. And I have a morning tea at work on Monday to go to where I can take some of the left overs. I have a pretty new dress to wear. And I have lost that digit off the scale again and I am keeping that in my mind. And I have my third Up and Running workout tomorrow morning.

I have done really well this week with food and exercise. I am very happy with that.

My little one has been sick this week with a cold and teething. It has made the week more stressful but there were a couple of times where I looked after myself first which meant that I could look after him better.

99.8

Hello!
It is my man’s birthday today. We had a small party yesterday with cake and a BBQ. Knowing that the party was happening, I weighed myself yesterday morning… 99.8

99.8

99.8

99.8

If I knew how to increase the font size I would write it a few more times πŸ˜€

And then, with the cake and the BBQ I ate more than I should have. It was all healthy stuff. But I just ate too much. Needless to say, I did not get on the scales this morning.

The funny thing is today, I am not hungry. Well that is not funny so much. But even though I am not hungry, I want to eat. Part of it is that I usually have a standard breakfast but today I just had a piece of toast and my latte. And for morning tea I had a small handful of almonds. And I am not physically hungry but my head is telling me to eat.

So far I have resisted. I am drinking green tea and herbal tea. I am just about to break out the chewing gum. I want to make healthy choices today. I want to see 99 on that scale again really soon.

But I got there! I lost a whole digit on the scale and I wore my special pink T-shirt that is a size 16 off the rack to celebrate, even though it was so cold yesterday.

99.8!

Celebrating success :)

I am not sure how I will go tomorrow on the scales. I had an ok week foodwise but with very little exercise. Things were just really busy. I was out on Friday night and then over the weekend I had a short trip to a family party. This morning I went for a good 45 minute walk with some jogging intervals but also had a small piece of cake (which was delicious!).

I am looking forward to getting in more exercise next week because I have really missed it.

At the party on Saturday night it was really good to see my extended family. I last saw them in mid December when I was at my heaviest. I recieved so many positive comments last night and it was just lovely to have their support and encouragement to keep going. I looked amazing, too, wearing one of my pink tops I bought a few weeks ago (see the pink entry here). And foodwise, I had taken carrot sticks, capsicum slices and cherry tomatos to put out with the chips/cheese/dips/crackers and I ate the vegetables. I did not have that much food for dinner and I skipped dessert entirely (I was really happy with that call, I did not feel like I missed out at all. How good is that!). For drinks, I made some unsweetened berry ice tea which I mixed with soda water and it was bubbly and pink and delicious. I didn’t want the alcohol with my special tea to hand πŸ™‚

So, tomorrow, I will get up, weigh in and go for my morning walk. Whatever happens on the scale, I am ready to keep going. The scale is still an important measure for me but I also have other measures that are becoming more important – wanting to exercise, making good food choices and feeling good in my skin. These are, in the end, more important than the number πŸ™‚

Details on ‘my plan for the rest of the year’

So, I mentioned ‘my plan for the rest of the year’ in my previous post. I thought it would be good to actually put down my plan here. In case I lose the file I have it in, or the backup…. It is always good to have things stored in multiple places πŸ™‚

I started counting kJ a month ago. I am really happy with the transition. It took me a little while to get the balence right between what I am eating and how much exercise I am doing but I have a better understanding of it now. (Although I think that I have overcompensated this week because of Easter Monday…)

I started out with a 8000kJ target (1900cal). That wasn’t enough. So, over the next couple of weeks I increased that by having slightly more for breakfast, morning tea and lunch but not changing dinner. I was aiming for 8500kJ (2020cal). I made it work and it did work.

But I have lost more weight and I want to keep losing weight at about 1kg a week. I have spent some time working out how much I need to eat to keep losing weight at this rate, provided I keep the exercise up. So, from 115kg (253 lbs), which I hope to record officially on Monday, I will aim to eat 8200kJ a day (1950cal). Then, when I get to 110kg (242lbs) I will drop to 8000kJ (1900cal). Then there is another little adjustment at 100kg (220lbs). These little adjustments should keep keep my kJ intake at at the level to lose about 1kg a week – maybe a little bit more but not too much less. My hope is I will get to 100kg (220lbs) by mid October which is another 16kg (35lbs) in 22 weeks.

I know that life happens, hormones cycle back and forth, there are plans that get put on hold or changed without warning. I am not expecting that I will keep to this every day or that every week there will be a 1.0kg (2.2lb) loss. But I have managed to track my food for 16 weeks now and keep focussed. I believe that I can continue eating a healthy balanced diet and exercise most days in the week and that I will see the number on the scale going down.

So, once I worked out the numbers, and especially wanting to drop my food intake a little bit next week, I had to work out what to leave out from my weekday food. I usually have the same thing for breakfast, lunch and snacks 5 days a week. And the weekends are a mix of different foods and the normal foods. Working out how to tweak weekdays will give me confidence that it will be easy to go forward.

Dropping 200-300 kJ (about 50 cal) for next week is equivalent to not having 80g of grapes on my breakfast cereal. I was having 3 serves of fruit a day and I will just drop down to 2.5 serves of fruit to make this little adjustment. Then, when I drop another 200kJ (50 cal)down the track, that is equivalent to having 30g of cashew for morning tea instead of 40g. These individual changes are small and I can manage this.

Knowing how to adjust my food intake to get the results I want gives me confidence. Working all this out feels like I have made my own stepping stones to help me on the journey.

Learning to trust my man with my food

Ahrgh! The heat! Tomorrow is expected to be about 10’C cooler than it was today and I am really looking forward to that. Tomorrow I am going walking and I am looking forward to that too.

This morning I asked my man if he wanted to cook dinner. He responded with – do you want me to cook dinner? Grrr. Part of my mind screamed NOOOOO but there is another part of me, the part that wants to look long term, that said yes. For the last 5 weeks I have had almost complete control of my food and it is hard giving that to someone else. But he likes to cook, that is one of the things I like about him and I want him to cook for me. So, I said yes.

He is really wonderful. He lets me ask what he is making, how much oil is he going to use, what else is in the sauce, can you weigh the meat and the wedges so that I can track it. I always make sure I have a good amount of my food allowance allocated to dinner when he is cooking because I don’t want him to feel really restricted in what he chooses to cook. And tonight, dinner came in just fine. You see, he wants to support me, he wants me to meet my goals and tries to help me meet my goals. I can trust him to be aware of my needs when he cooks. He is really wonderful.