I haven’t really clarified what I mean by ‘self acceptance’ and what I am trying to achieve in this space. When I talk about self acceptance, I don’t want to accept my size now and be happy with that and not move forward to be fitter and healthier – it is not like the ‘healthy at every size’ acceptance of my weight now. That is not the path I am on (I am not saying it is not a valid path, just not a valid path for me at this point).
What I am aiming for is to accept who I am – this is me, where I am now. I don’t need to apologise for not being someone else. I don’t need to strive to be someone else. Other people can be role models and inspire me but I want to be the best ‘me’ that I can be. And that means knowing who I am, accepting who I am, accepting my past because it has made me who I am, accepting my strengths and where I am good, accepting the things I am not so good at and knowing that those things are ok. It means letting go of the past and living in today. Accepting who I am as a partner, a mother and a daughter and being myself in those relationships. It means letting go of the ‘should be’ and ‘what if’ and working with who I am and the talents I have. It means building dreams and goals based who I am now and where I see me going; it means building plans which allow me to enjoy the journey because it is my journey and I want to live, enjoy and be me today. It means being happy in my body and soul, separate to the circumstances of today. It means being less buffeted by circumstances in life because I know who I am and I am strong in myself. This is what I am looking for with self acceptance.
I am hoping with increased self acceptance, my need to eat because I am insecure will be less because I won’t be as insecure; my need to eat because I am bored or stressed or hormonal or afraid will be less because I am more aware of who I am and where I want to go.