I just want to say I have had 4 days of eating properly and I feel better. I pushed myself a little far I think with the running and have had a couple rest days but I will be back out there tomorrow, rain or shine.
It boggles me how it can be so easy to be on track when everything is going well. For example, today at work I said that I did not want the free lunch after the orientation program – this was when I was looking at the food. I said I am watching what I eat, it would be difficult to guauge the kJ in what was provided and as I had bought my lunch in I would stick with that. I was respected for that choice. It was actually an easy choice for me to make today.
But then, when things are not ok, it is so hard to be on track. Every decision is a struggle. Sometimes I can make healthy decisions and sometimes I let it go and give in to whatever is driving me. What I find frustrating now is that I look back at last couple of weeks and I don’t understand why I acted that way – it is so foreign to my state of mind now.
I hope I get better at seeing that switch coming up so that I can manage it, even avoid it. I hope I get to a point where I can look at what is stressing me and channel that in ways that are not related to food. I am getting better but it still is a fallback for me.
Small steps. Today was a victory and each day of good choices reinforces a better way. This is not about perfection, it is about improvement. I will keep going.
The other thing I am really happy with today is that I had a surprise visit from my sister and her fam after work. They live about 4 hours drive away so it was very exciting to see them with about 40 minutes warning. They were at our place for dinner and on such short notice we got takeaway. We picked up some bbq chicken, shredded it and made wraps with tortillas, salad, light sour cream, salsa and light cheese. It was tasty and healthy. For my second wrap I used a large lettuce leaf rather than a second tortilla. It was a meal that I could track easily and while a little more work than straight takeaway it was still easy.
Four days in a row of good, clean eating. It is a good start. Already I can feel the difference in my body. Eating healthy food is better for me. I need to remember this.