Yesterday I got up early and did my first running workout with Up and Running. That was excellent – and needs to be the subject of its own post.
But I want to backtrack to Saturday first. I ate too much on Saturday. Then on Sunday I started off with a light breakfast, small morning tea and sensible lunch. I had baked a cake to take to a friends christening and the cake was too warm when I was slicing it and it crumbled… and I ate some of the crumbly bits….
Sunday afternoon and evening I slipped into ‘I don’t care, I am going to eat whatever I want’ mode. It is one of those crazy modes where I don’t know how to break it. So, I overate. Chocolate, nuts, more cake, crackers. And I was not hungry and I started feeling so full I was uncomfotable. I don’t understand it now trying to write about it.
So, Monday morning was the first morning for Up and Running. I went out, did my work out, came back and jumped on the scales. And got what I expected and deserved. But I also know my system and I decided to give it another day to keep moving. This morning I got on scale again. And I will take this weight and say that is ok – up just over a lb from Saturday and about the same as last week.
Today’s weight: 100.4 kg (221 lbs)
I am frustrated with myself. I am either in control or have no control. There does not seem to be a middle ground. If I stop tracking in a day it is almost as if ‘don’t know, don’t care’ comes into force.
This weekend is going to be interesting. We have a party on Saturday. There will be food that I prepare and food that other people bring. There will be left overs. I can see the same thing could happen again and I don’t want it to. I want that number to stay below 100! So, I need to do things differently. I need to be able to enjoy the party but not forget that I want to be healthy. I need to put things out of sight after the party so that it is easier for me to stay on track the next day. I might buy a special bracelet or wear a special tie about my wrist that I can touch or flick to remind myself to do things differently.
I am not going to beat myself up about my choices on Saturday or Sunday. But I want to learn from them. I am strong, I am determined. I also want to find balance but I don’t think that is something I can work out this week. That is a long term goal.