My choices, my actions: finding my centre

Today I have been reflecting on the last 20 weeks as tonight marks the end of 20 weeks since I started this journey. Being away from home for the last few days and really having to plan exercise and food has reminded me how far I have come.

I have done so well this weekend. I planned my food; I brought some things with me and bought some things here. I ate the food I had planned and I was happy with that. Part of my satisfaction has come from eating food that is filling and tasty, and having some options. I have not felt deprived. I am very grateful to my friends who have supported me this weekend. I am sharing the hotel suite with three friends and there has been no issue with regards to me having organised my food independently. I have planned for one dinner out with them and I am looking forward to that tonight. And last night, I stayed last after the final concert and celebrated with champagne and much singing. I had not planned the alcohol into my food plan for the weekend but that is ok. Finding balance with life is part of journeying to a lighter plane of being.

I am also really thrilled that I have been active every day since I arrived. I had wanted to exercise and I had packed all my exercise gear. But I did have to get out there and do it. And I did. The time out walking gave me space; a chance to clear my head of convention and the time to reflect on my choices (food and exercise wise) of the weekend and the first 20 weeks.

I was asked to go to High Tea this afternoon. I once loved High Tea with the cakes and desserts and chocolates and the all you can eat aspect. But not today. I chose to have a few drinks last night and I chose not to go to High Tea today. Both choices make me feel empowered. The reason I gave for not going is that I am watching what I eat and did not want to go because of my commitment to that. After a condescending remark, my friend apologised, explained the context of her comment and asked if I was happy. I realised that I am. I am happy not going with them. I am happy that I am getting healthy and strong. I am happy that my life is my priority. I am happy that I can know what I want and stand in that and be confident in my choices.

I am on holiday and I don’t feel like a holiday from home means time off from eating well and exercising. It is as much a part of my day as it is any day.

I am so proud of what I have done this weekend and what I have achieved in my first 20 weeks of being a healthier and stronger person.

I won’t be able to weigh in tomorrow but I will on Tuesday morning. I want to see the scales go down but they might not. And honestly, I am ok with what I get because this weekend has really shown me how far I have come.

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