The last couple of weeks have been harder for me. There have been several occasions where I chose not to follow my plan. And I think it is ok to do this, but it has happened too many times in the last week. I have taken the easy way out rather than choosing the healthy way. Some of it resulted from not being prepared and not having my usual food on hand. Some of it resulted from last minute change of plans and I did not think the options through properly at that point. Some of it was because I felt like being easy on myself and I was happy to relax a little and indulge.
All of these things are ok. But what I want is to make healthy decisions most of the time. I want it to be my default option rather than the backup.
I was thinking about this on my walk this morning. I need to remember the bigger goal. Why am I doing this? What is it that drives me?
I want to have another child. I want to be healthy and be active with my children. I want to run with them, ride with them, play with them. I don’t want to be passive because of my weight/health. I want to live for a long time. I want to be healthy in my old age and not be trapped in my body because of my weight/health. I want to go camping with my family and not feel uncomfortable or self concious in my skin. I want to go hiking with my family. I want to travel and not feel uncomfortable travelling because of my weight. I want to be thin and pretty. I want to be confident. I want to be healthy. I want to be strong. I want all of this.
I want this more than the instant gratification of what I eat today. I want this more than a take away meal. I want this more than alcohol. I want this more than cake and biscuits. I want this more than sleeping in when I had planned to exercise.
This is what I need to remember every day, when I think things are hard, when things change and I need to look at options. This needs to be the backdrop for every day.
Sometimes, I will choose somthing that will take me further away from my goals. Sometimes it is important to do that and enjoy whatever it is. And I need to remember I don’t live in a vaccuum – I have my man and my little boy and our friends. But I want my choices to be mindful. And I want to stay committed to my goals and my dreams.
These things I choose: I will be healthy, I will be fit, I will be strong. I choose this for my future and for my family.